What is your goal?

Life is all about random occurrences that coincide leaving incidences and circumstantial situations that many would call fate or destiny.


Whichever you choose to believe in -

what is your goal? 

Many of us go through life either taking the backseat or charging forward. Doing so, we end up with different experiences and different expectations. Things that aren't in control are where we're born, who are our family, what country do you reside in initially, what faith are you brought up to believe in? Have you ever thought about that?

Aside from those, we literally decide our outcome in life. You want to be a millionaire - you take the risk and push yourself till you achieve it. You want a laid back life doing a 9-5 job and withdrawing enough for rent and food for the family, you just do that simple job that supplies you enough.

I remember when I was younger and many of the essays or talks as a primary school student revolved around "my ambition". Back then when the mind was raw and unaware of real-life bribery, cheating, discrimination, racism - how simple life is. Though you did not have a luxury house or car neither a nokia 3310, the only thing you had to think of was handing in your homework to avoid scolding from that math teacher.

As I grew older things changed. I developed skills, developed awareness of the situation and surrounding. Dreams were still beyond our galaxy, a voyage to the unknown.

In a gist, I wanted to be a

1. professional pool player,

2. scientist,

3. astronaut,

4. formula 1 racer,

5. musician,

6. youtuber,

7. surgeon,

8. mechatronic engineer

- but look where I am today?
- A doctor that is keen to specialize in Dermatology. It's a really long way.. but for now that's my journey.

One may say what we choose to become is the sum of all our experiences and advice that we have recollected throughout the many years before jumping into college or university or for some straight into work. Yes, opportunity is an important thing. I know of many who wanted to be doctors but due to lack of monetary funds or scholarships, they're doing something totally non-health related. I also know of people who wanted to be a big time business owner, but struggling to make ends meat.

So today I ask you, what is your goal? I made my goal simple yet difficult since I was young.

~ Even if I end up looking like a fool, so long as somebody sees me and has a better day or even a laugh - it was worth the effort. 

In essence, to make an impact on this Earth; 

not a small one if I may say so ~

Have I achieved it? Probably in baby steps. What about you? Are you simply going through life living it for yourself? What is your goal?

Read More

The Beggar and I

No, the picture above was not the beggar I saw.


The pic above was googled. I didn't have the heart to take a picture of the man even from a distance. Suffice to say, he was a mid 30's to 40 gentleman; unkempt with poor overall hygiene, cavitating teeth, barefoot and with nothing but a rugged t-shirt and shorts.

It is only common to avoid eye contact or even conversation with "beggars". For most, people have preformed ideas of why the people beg.

Were they there by choice? or is there a syndicate behind it all?

If there was one thing humans are vulnerable to, it is compassion. Nobody says look at the Malaysians. They say, "think about the Africans everytime you have leftover food". The attacks in Syria, bombings in Paris, earthquake in India - and people send multitudes of supplies in form of medicine, food, clothings and some even money.

A few days ago I went to the automated teller machine as I was running short on cash. As I parked my car and walked in I noticed the man squatting at the side stairwell. I imagined that he would somehow ask passer-by's to give him money. As I vacated the bank, he approached me and asked for money -

"Minta wang, saya lapar. Tolong bagi sikit wang untuk makan".
(give me money, i'm hungry, please give a little so i can get food)

I gave him a simple hand gesture indicating I was not going to do so (no I did not flip him off). But I then felt maybe I should do something for this man. I walked a block away to find a coffee shop that sells a good meal. I bought some for myself and also got him a pack of teriyaki chicken rice with a char siew pao.

It totalled up to be less than RM10, but when I gave it to him - he immediately showed his gratitude. As I walked away I saw him scavenge the bag of food and devour the bread so urgently.

To me, it may not be much. But I can imagine that it may have been his only meal for the past several days or that even to come. I'm not one to give money away unnecessarily, but since he asked for food - why not. I urged him to get a job as he was physically able, but he showed humiliation and an expression of being rejected.

I guess we can only do so much. Leave it with a prayer ~

Read More

State of Mind

This picture reflects exactly what I'm feeling at the moment.


Looking back at 2015 that's just a week ago, Wow.

Truly a year that played a pivotal role towards my life's plan. Experiences that can't be bought, and questions of the future that are still a somewhat mystery.

In a gist, here's 2015 - as the full story may take 10's of thousands of words and emotions to convey *best to catch me for a cuppa if ya can!

1. Helping my countrymen, Kelantan

2. Disappointed by PPUM

3. The American dream

4. Disappointed by KKM

5. A new adventure in Malaysia, Kuching

6. Medical to Dermatology

7. Youtube stardom still a distant future

8. 2016 - still with big dreams but nothing concrete as usual

Well, the thing that bugs me most is to see people advance in life while I "lag behind". The pathway I chose is a really long journey, and I still can't help but think about the WHAT IFS.

Every year I would make certain resolutions. Needless to say some are met and some may never see light. This year I didn't make any yet. I guess I'm still finding my way in this State of Mind.

What about you?

Read More

NEVER STOP LEARNING!!!

They say curiosity killed the cat. I say curiosity saved the other cats.


From the time you and I were born, we NEVER stopped learning. If there was a day where you can definitely 100% say you didn't learn anything - you have got to share with me what did you do on that day. FYI, sleeping or being comatosed or dead - technically you're learning within your dream despite the motorless physical state.

Learning need not be a degree or even attending a class. Learning is when you learn something new no matter how minuscule it seems. Example, you walk pass an busy street in New York - you subconsciously learn about people behaviour or even from an advertisement on the billboard. What about in the dessert? You learn about how the wind and weather changes throughout the day.

In my profession, we can never stop learning. The day we stop, is the day we give a subpar treatment to our patients. The world changes daily. And although the steps in managing a simple cough and cold may seem the same, as technology and biomedicine progresses - vaccinations come about and possibly one day an instant relief tablet.

Having said that, I am quite tired of it. Since young the aim was always to achieve straight A's in exams. 80% although an A, was still not good enough. Yes, I am ASIAN level. Going through medical school despite my personal belief it was considered a "holiday course" to me back then, I still studied taking exams one after another.

Years later and although my instagram and youtube may seem all the happs (happening), I still have to make time and study after working or even during. The road to become a specialist is long. For those who know me, I'm the slacker or the class. Not that I choose to be. Somehow I find that there are so many things to learn and see or do other than reading a book or doing questions after questions.

I may have ADHD (attention deficit hyperactive disorder) without me realizing. But I just cannot sit still when it comes to studying. It's such a bore listening to people telling me to study or etc. It's cool to know more about whatever I am doing. But the fact I have to sit another million exams to get there... I'm certain some of you understand my exact feelings very well.

In the end I ask myself - is it because I don't find what I'm doing interesting? Or am i just pure lazy. I guess it's a mixture of both. But do wish me luck for the hurdles I face in life. Hopefully one day I will look back at this post and say I made it through all those useless exams and achieved the ambition I desire.

Remember, knowledge is power. Knowledge is a right and a privilege. Let's make the best of it and

NEVER STOP LEARNING!

Read More

Hitz.FM Sarawak The Martian!

Nope, I don't work at hitz.fm in case you're wondering. And I'm not sponsored by them - though I wouldn't mind :P

I was talking to a bunch of friends awhile back. It's normal to compare with other people. Somewhat making them or yourself a yard-stick. No doubt I am very blessed in so many ways, I think it's only normal to say -

FREE is GOOD
The problem is that most of the time, GOOD is NOT FREE. 


SO... I was telling them how this one friend of ours seemingly wins contests time and time again. It made me feel " ... ". Reason being the prizes he wins are in the hundreds to thousands! And among one of the prizes was a GoPro. If you don't already know, I'm a youtuber and I spend lots on stuff like this. Not that I need'em to make my videos. But I am quite a geek about these things.


Well, the wait is over! I actually won a radio competition. I somehow managed to be the first caller through to win movie passes to the screening of "The Martian" featuring Matt Damon.

My conversation on radio:
DJ (guy) - What do you think of Matt Damon?
Me - Well, I think he's a good actor.
DJ (guy) - Oh he's just a good actor not a good looking man?
Me - Um well, you know.. that'd be awkward if i said that (in my mind - i'm a dude, he's a dude, the fella asking me questions is a dude - this some gay shizz goin on)
DJ (girl) - Basically today is your last day on earth. Jeng Jeng Jeng. What would you do?
Me - Well, I'd probably spend time with my family - cuz you know, i prolly won't see them for a long time.
DJ (guy) - What an honourable answer. And for that we're gonna hook you up with movie passes to the screening of The Martian.

And essentially the conversation ended.
How do i get my tickets ah? When and where do I show up for the movie?

Hopefully they call me back or message me. Haha. Quite good ratings this show.

If I can win, anybody including YOU CAN WIN TOO!
Have a swell week! Just don't get stung by a bee!

Read More

A Malaysian Government Doctors Rant

As a child I was pre-groomed to be a doctor. Those who know me would probably say - we know! However, I don't say this merely due to my Punjabi side of my mixed heritage.

Remember when you were in school and they make you write those essays "My ambition" ? Well, I wanted to be a scientist/ surgeon. Probably due to my constant analytical and scientific inquisition.
Knowledge was powerful, and I as many - wanted to be powerful.

As I grew older, my mind was open to new and more intriguing career paths. By the age of 14-years-old I wanted to be a professional pool player! And I believed it was achievable! Youngest world champion was only 15. I would've been younger :P Ah, the big dreams.

It didn't stop there and never stopped since. I went through a lengthy process of trying to be a musician, engineer, and race car/ f1 driver. But, my asian heritage eventually pushed me to the line of medicine believing that the rest are merely hobbies than career options. With much debate and heaps of miracles - I am as you already know, a Doctor.

Many would argue that I should chase my dreams and do what I love in life. Suffice to say, God has a greater plan for every one of us. And looking back, I am glad I chose to follow God's plan. I am who I am today and have everything I have because I chose to follow.

Do not misinterpret me. I do have my complaints and dissatisfactions being a doctor. I wanted to quit being a doctor many times for many reasons:

the lengthy hours, no day off, no proper meals, 

inappropriate wage, donkey work, lousy colleagues, 

poor patient care, and the list goes on. 

In a gist, I felt that I deserve(d) more for the effort and heart I put into my work and to the patient's I care for.

Yes yes. I know what's on your mind and many especially Malaysians.

"You should know that being a doctor is a sacrifice; if you're in it for the money you should do something else"

Those are the common lines used. But let me say this very LOUDLY:

CHOOSING TO BE A DOCTOR DOES NOT MEAN YOU CHOOSE TO LIVE A PAUPERS/AVERAGE LIFE AND NEGLECT YOUR ENTIRE PERSONAL WELL BEING, FAMILY AND FRIENDS!

I say this because we as doctors in Malaysia have already come to a point where there's no return.

We (doctors who work in the government) have the

GOVERNMENT SERVANTS ATTITUDE:

jealousy, discontent, abundant complaints, can I punch out yet.

We constantly draw self pity amongst friends who are working other jobs and are doing much better than us. Always saying "Not as rich as you", "Don't have so much free time as you", "On-call".

We stereotype doctors in the private sector as sell-outs/ money hungry people. Yet, We complain about being over-worked and underpaid on a weekly if not daily basis. I know countless doctors who work second jobs: e.g insurance, MLM's, online businesses, and etc.

We become workers than doctors. Rather than taking that extra half hour or even 15 minutes to explain to a patient the need for a lifestyle change for his/her illness- many scold the patients and condemn them for their actions that brought them to the hospital. Imagine if you were the ill patient. I guarantee that you probably think twice about going to see a doctor the next time you're ill. You'd probably go to the "bomoh" or "sin seh". And doctors probably say, why didn't he/she come see us rather than seek alternative medicine. Geez I wonder why???!

We become critics and Gods. Many Senior doctors instil fear into houseman (junior doctors)/ medical-officers (junior compared to specialists and consultants) and as such create an unwanted working environment that essentially says -

do not disturb me, if you do i will scold you ; 

you must know how to be a doctor, but i'm not going to teach you how.

And if something goes wrong?? You can imagine the ferocity and beating the young doctor goes through. Common sense, a person can never learn if he or she is never taught to begin with.

The years of diligent study and joy we brought to our families when we received the title MBBS or MD on our graduation day, to some young doctors seem pointless and a wasted effort. The potentials of individuals who could have been an outstanding physician/surgeon/ etc -

ruined by the so-called "more experienced doctors".

Many of us who practice would probably agree that we would not want our children to become doctors due to any number of reasons I mentioned above.

I leave you with this to ponder upon:

1. What do you think is the problem with our system compared to other countries?
2. Is it the hierarchy that everyone hates yet when in power uses blatantly?
3. Is it the patient to doctor ratio?
4. Or does it boil down to doctors in the government service being "under-paid"?

Btw, I have a youtube channel too! click here

Need extra income too ya know :P LOL

Read More