What is your goal?

Life is all about random occurrences that coincide leaving incidences and circumstantial situations that many would call fate or destiny.


Whichever you choose to believe in -

what is your goal? 

Many of us go through life either taking the backseat or charging forward. Doing so, we end up with different experiences and different expectations. Things that aren't in control are where we're born, who are our family, what country do you reside in initially, what faith are you brought up to believe in? Have you ever thought about that?

Aside from those, we literally decide our outcome in life. You want to be a millionaire - you take the risk and push yourself till you achieve it. You want a laid back life doing a 9-5 job and withdrawing enough for rent and food for the family, you just do that simple job that supplies you enough.

I remember when I was younger and many of the essays or talks as a primary school student revolved around "my ambition". Back then when the mind was raw and unaware of real-life bribery, cheating, discrimination, racism - how simple life is. Though you did not have a luxury house or car neither a nokia 3310, the only thing you had to think of was handing in your homework to avoid scolding from that math teacher.

As I grew older things changed. I developed skills, developed awareness of the situation and surrounding. Dreams were still beyond our galaxy, a voyage to the unknown.

In a gist, I wanted to be a

1. professional pool player,

2. scientist,

3. astronaut,

4. formula 1 racer,

5. musician,

6. youtuber,

7. surgeon,

8. mechatronic engineer

- but look where I am today?
- A doctor that is keen to specialize in Dermatology. It's a really long way.. but for now that's my journey.

One may say what we choose to become is the sum of all our experiences and advice that we have recollected throughout the many years before jumping into college or university or for some straight into work. Yes, opportunity is an important thing. I know of many who wanted to be doctors but due to lack of monetary funds or scholarships, they're doing something totally non-health related. I also know of people who wanted to be a big time business owner, but struggling to make ends meat.

So today I ask you, what is your goal? I made my goal simple yet difficult since I was young.

~ Even if I end up looking like a fool, so long as somebody sees me and has a better day or even a laugh - it was worth the effort. 

In essence, to make an impact on this Earth; 

not a small one if I may say so ~

Have I achieved it? Probably in baby steps. What about you? Are you simply going through life living it for yourself? What is your goal?

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Do you English or England?

The picture above got me thinking.


How often do we butcher our words. As I speak English primarily, this doesn't occur too frequently. Most often such pronunciation errors occur amongst people who speak it as their second language.

In Malaysia, the national language is Malay. Having said that, not all Malaysians speak Malay. What surprised me even more awhile back is some don't even speak a word of Malay or English despite living here for years/ their entire life.


I made a video about it. You can find it at the end of the page. Back to the topic today - we cannot fault people like the person above who repeatedly said cocknice instead of clockwise. This is because their tongues are not accustomed to pronounce such "r's" and "ss" (if you can imagine what I'm trying to say).

Let me mention clearly that I'm not making fun of this person or throwing racist jokes against Malay, Chinese or Indian ethnicities who do not speak fluent English. We must always look at things from the other person's perspective.


Taking this person and myself as an example.

I speak English well, he speaks Chinese well.

- no intonational errors in our respective languages.

He speaks England, I speak China.

Do you get my drift now?


In conclusion, let's not be hasty to joke about other people (as funny as it may be) like the story of the auntie who was selling coke but kept saying cock. If you don't usually speak Chinese, instead of saying yi tiu (one piece), you may end up saying ni diu (you F**k).

If you can speak more than one language or dialect, you're already awesome!

Have a great weekend all! You're fantastic!

AUNTIE ONLY SPEAK CHINESE !!! 

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The Beggar and I

No, the picture above was not the beggar I saw.


The pic above was googled. I didn't have the heart to take a picture of the man even from a distance. Suffice to say, he was a mid 30's to 40 gentleman; unkempt with poor overall hygiene, cavitating teeth, barefoot and with nothing but a rugged t-shirt and shorts.

It is only common to avoid eye contact or even conversation with "beggars". For most, people have preformed ideas of why the people beg.

Were they there by choice? or is there a syndicate behind it all?

If there was one thing humans are vulnerable to, it is compassion. Nobody says look at the Malaysians. They say, "think about the Africans everytime you have leftover food". The attacks in Syria, bombings in Paris, earthquake in India - and people send multitudes of supplies in form of medicine, food, clothings and some even money.

A few days ago I went to the automated teller machine as I was running short on cash. As I parked my car and walked in I noticed the man squatting at the side stairwell. I imagined that he would somehow ask passer-by's to give him money. As I vacated the bank, he approached me and asked for money -

"Minta wang, saya lapar. Tolong bagi sikit wang untuk makan".
(give me money, i'm hungry, please give a little so i can get food)

I gave him a simple hand gesture indicating I was not going to do so (no I did not flip him off). But I then felt maybe I should do something for this man. I walked a block away to find a coffee shop that sells a good meal. I bought some for myself and also got him a pack of teriyaki chicken rice with a char siew pao.

It totalled up to be less than RM10, but when I gave it to him - he immediately showed his gratitude. As I walked away I saw him scavenge the bag of food and devour the bread so urgently.

To me, it may not be much. But I can imagine that it may have been his only meal for the past several days or that even to come. I'm not one to give money away unnecessarily, but since he asked for food - why not. I urged him to get a job as he was physically able, but he showed humiliation and an expression of being rejected.

I guess we can only do so much. Leave it with a prayer ~

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State of Mind

This picture reflects exactly what I'm feeling at the moment.


Looking back at 2015 that's just a week ago, Wow.

Truly a year that played a pivotal role towards my life's plan. Experiences that can't be bought, and questions of the future that are still a somewhat mystery.

In a gist, here's 2015 - as the full story may take 10's of thousands of words and emotions to convey *best to catch me for a cuppa if ya can!

1. Helping my countrymen, Kelantan

2. Disappointed by PPUM

3. The American dream

4. Disappointed by KKM

5. A new adventure in Malaysia, Kuching

6. Medical to Dermatology

7. Youtube stardom still a distant future

8. 2016 - still with big dreams but nothing concrete as usual

Well, the thing that bugs me most is to see people advance in life while I "lag behind". The pathway I chose is a really long journey, and I still can't help but think about the WHAT IFS.

Every year I would make certain resolutions. Needless to say some are met and some may never see light. This year I didn't make any yet. I guess I'm still finding my way in this State of Mind.

What about you?

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HOUSEMAN are COCKROACHES !!!

Man, that title - like the picture above just sends jitters down people's spines.


I don't know why but whenever I start a video or post, I tend to always reiterate the fact that I am a doctor. e.g.

"As you all know, I am a doctor"

I must apologize as I tend to have short-term memory unlike my readers/ people who watch my videos. #IMHO (In my honest opinion) there must be a God because me becoming a doctor with the little effort I put in compared to my colleagues - is a miracle. Them people are hardcore nerds man. I guess that's why I write and make videos - a hobby/ place to runaway from the "responsibility" bestowed upon me with the title DOCTOR.

Anyway, a week back I released a video with the title
"HOUSEMAN are COCKROACHES !!!".
Before jumping to conclusions that I am a malignant power-house medical officer who humiliates and condemn my junior doctors - houseofficers, Please do watch the video.

Surprised to say that video of mine went semi-viral amongst the doctor-circle in Malaysia (8000 plus views as i type). It is my most popular video since years back when I made violin videos or other videos that I removed from youtube in light of my professional outlook. Essentially, my video drew mixed feelings.

I spoke about what I see happening - somewhat like a daily routine: Senior doctors belittling the junior ones. If you didn't know, a medical student is proud and happy despite the "stress" up until they begin working from the bottom up. Most medical schools prepare the young padawan with knowledge to overcome illnesses. However, this knowledge sometimes only ends up lost in translation to clinical application.

If you've lost me there (geddit lost in translation? *crashcymbal), I'm talking about the stride from being a student and leaping to the heavy shoulders of a doctor. Although they're taught how to problem solve in medicinal sense - dealing with a patient for real is a whole different ballgame. The vast array of disease and atypical variants are astonishing to say the least. With that in mind, the junior doctor is not given a moment of failure.

At least in Malaysia, from the day you report to work -

YOU'RE EXPECTED TO FUNCTION!

I won't get into the details of it, but basically the learning curve is near 90 degrees steep and the student must be able to cope with physical and emotional stress daily. The issue is, like any other profession there comes a time when he or she experiences the BAD BOSS.

As I said, it's all about expectations. The houseman (or any other junior doctor) must endure brutal remarks or sometimes even physical abuse for mistakes as minute as a word written wrongly on the patient notes. You may think I'm exaggerating, but I assure you I am not. This kind of attitude from the senior doctors is what I was trying to address.

If we don't teach the younger generation what is wrong from right, they will grow up and be 'wrong' like their predecessors

I must clarify that I did not mention by any means that it is wrong for the superior to "teach" the junior, but instead of socially humiliating the person in front of patients and the surrounding on-lookers - to approach mistakes or inadequacies in a more appropriate manner. I won't continue further but let the video speak for itself.


HOUSEMAN are COCKROACHES !!!
o


Finally, for the ones who thumbbed up my vids as I was standing up for the so called "victimised", as I said at the end of the video - people will not ill treat you by any standards unless you are not up to the minimum expectation. So like I always do for myself, I urge everyone to evaluate themselves regularly to better ourselves and to improve patient safety.

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Born A Racist - Malaysia

Judging by the title, you know what i'm going to write about.


It's simple. Humans are Homosapians. However due to differences in our genetic structure, we appear differently. This is what gives us our individual uniqueness. Although, on this very planet - we classify ourselves also according to our origins that give us a relatively similar appearance.

in a word

RACE

Since years before even your great grandfather was born, people were racist. Everyone knows about slavery with the "blacks" and the apartheid. In such an advanced stage of human evolution with technology and somewhat borderless travel, it's interesting how Racial intolerance is still rampant.

Malaysia is one of the only country boasting a multiracial society. Not saying that other countries do not have different races, but here in Malaysia it's very apparent. The "whites and the blacks" are generally the minority. The great thing about the multiracial society is the ability to adapt and embrace other cultures.

That said, as reported on a near daily basis - racism is still the tool of division by many. I would say that their "pemikiran kolot". I personally am from a mixed racial marriage with diverse cultures and hence I strongly stand against racism. Take a look at this video that I stumbled upon:

Born A Racist


At the end of it, I stand to my statement - we need to learn from the children and not from the elder generation or even mine. Teach the young and innocent to grow rightly and the future of Malaysia/ mankind will advance further.

Imagine if one day aliens came to earth and wanted peace? Think of Star Trek and its multiracial/ cultural/ planet/ religious acceptance.

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B***h I'mma Trip and Kick YOU!

Yes fellow readers, I meant every word right there in the title!

Unless you live in a cocoon, another galaxy or you're an "uninformed oblivious ignorant" person; you would know the REFUGEE situation happening. Basically, there's a Syrian refugee crisis where people are fleeing the country across borders out of desperation due to the current ongoing civil war.

Many countries have started accepting thousands of refugees and efforts are being made to accommodate more. It's really tragic to see the lives of innocent people ruined due to war. Imagine the children who knows nothing about what's happening. They end up being orphaned or even killed.

This person in the video below made me even more upset. I mean, WOMAN YOU'RE A JOURNALIST/ CAMERA WOMAN!!! In my opinion, people working in the news should be unbiased and have neutral grounds when working. When you're done with work, it's up to you. Well, i'll leave it to you guyz to decide.

JOURNALIST CAUGHT ON CAMERA KICKING REFUGEES

Journalist Caught On Camera Kicking Refugees
This woman was caught on camera kicking and tripping refugees
Posted by NowThis on Tuesday, September 8, 2015

By the way, the lady was apparently removed from duty (aka fired) by the newscasting station. Let's all be people of empathy and sympathy for other human beings okay?

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A Malaysian Government Doctors Rant

As a child I was pre-groomed to be a doctor. Those who know me would probably say - we know! However, I don't say this merely due to my Punjabi side of my mixed heritage.

Remember when you were in school and they make you write those essays "My ambition" ? Well, I wanted to be a scientist/ surgeon. Probably due to my constant analytical and scientific inquisition.
Knowledge was powerful, and I as many - wanted to be powerful.

As I grew older, my mind was open to new and more intriguing career paths. By the age of 14-years-old I wanted to be a professional pool player! And I believed it was achievable! Youngest world champion was only 15. I would've been younger :P Ah, the big dreams.

It didn't stop there and never stopped since. I went through a lengthy process of trying to be a musician, engineer, and race car/ f1 driver. But, my asian heritage eventually pushed me to the line of medicine believing that the rest are merely hobbies than career options. With much debate and heaps of miracles - I am as you already know, a Doctor.

Many would argue that I should chase my dreams and do what I love in life. Suffice to say, God has a greater plan for every one of us. And looking back, I am glad I chose to follow God's plan. I am who I am today and have everything I have because I chose to follow.

Do not misinterpret me. I do have my complaints and dissatisfactions being a doctor. I wanted to quit being a doctor many times for many reasons:

the lengthy hours, no day off, no proper meals, 

inappropriate wage, donkey work, lousy colleagues, 

poor patient care, and the list goes on. 

In a gist, I felt that I deserve(d) more for the effort and heart I put into my work and to the patient's I care for.

Yes yes. I know what's on your mind and many especially Malaysians.

"You should know that being a doctor is a sacrifice; if you're in it for the money you should do something else"

Those are the common lines used. But let me say this very LOUDLY:

CHOOSING TO BE A DOCTOR DOES NOT MEAN YOU CHOOSE TO LIVE A PAUPERS/AVERAGE LIFE AND NEGLECT YOUR ENTIRE PERSONAL WELL BEING, FAMILY AND FRIENDS!

I say this because we as doctors in Malaysia have already come to a point where there's no return.

We (doctors who work in the government) have the

GOVERNMENT SERVANTS ATTITUDE:

jealousy, discontent, abundant complaints, can I punch out yet.

We constantly draw self pity amongst friends who are working other jobs and are doing much better than us. Always saying "Not as rich as you", "Don't have so much free time as you", "On-call".

We stereotype doctors in the private sector as sell-outs/ money hungry people. Yet, We complain about being over-worked and underpaid on a weekly if not daily basis. I know countless doctors who work second jobs: e.g insurance, MLM's, online businesses, and etc.

We become workers than doctors. Rather than taking that extra half hour or even 15 minutes to explain to a patient the need for a lifestyle change for his/her illness- many scold the patients and condemn them for their actions that brought them to the hospital. Imagine if you were the ill patient. I guarantee that you probably think twice about going to see a doctor the next time you're ill. You'd probably go to the "bomoh" or "sin seh". And doctors probably say, why didn't he/she come see us rather than seek alternative medicine. Geez I wonder why???!

We become critics and Gods. Many Senior doctors instil fear into houseman (junior doctors)/ medical-officers (junior compared to specialists and consultants) and as such create an unwanted working environment that essentially says -

do not disturb me, if you do i will scold you ; 

you must know how to be a doctor, but i'm not going to teach you how.

And if something goes wrong?? You can imagine the ferocity and beating the young doctor goes through. Common sense, a person can never learn if he or she is never taught to begin with.

The years of diligent study and joy we brought to our families when we received the title MBBS or MD on our graduation day, to some young doctors seem pointless and a wasted effort. The potentials of individuals who could have been an outstanding physician/surgeon/ etc -

ruined by the so-called "more experienced doctors".

Many of us who practice would probably agree that we would not want our children to become doctors due to any number of reasons I mentioned above.

I leave you with this to ponder upon:

1. What do you think is the problem with our system compared to other countries?
2. Is it the hierarchy that everyone hates yet when in power uses blatantly?
3. Is it the patient to doctor ratio?
4. Or does it boil down to doctors in the government service being "under-paid"?

Btw, I have a youtube channel too! click here

Need extra income too ya know :P LOL

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