And I couldn't believe it! How could it be?! I just had diarrhea and recurrent fever! The next thing I was told was that
I'm HIV positive???!
~:~:~FAR OUT~:~:~
I just went in for my tummy upset as it was annoying me. The doctor gave me antibiotics for that. At the same time, he said he'd need my blood for testing. When I asked what for, he said to test for HIV.
My first impression was like... What on Earth for? Are you saying I sleep around. That I'm unfaithful to my partner? He said it's just a test as it may be possible. Seeing I did not do anything wrong, I said go ahead.
2 weeks later, I went to see the doctor again for the results. Initially, I was hyped and all jolly. After all, what could happen to me? I'm not like one of those druggies who wastes their life getting high. I'm not a slut or a whore that is up for grabs at anytime.
The next thing was, "This may come to you as a shock, but according to the results, you are positive for HIV. I am very sorry.". I was literally stunned. As if he spoke in another language or I had a hearing defect.
Tens of things ran through my mind at that moment. In disbelief that the doctor told me I have AIDS! I immediately asked him again if it was true. That the test is wrong! It must be! He tried to comfort me saying that the test could be repeated. Having said that he says that there's a low chance it'll be wrong because the test is very accurate.
I immediately started to question of what am I to do. How could this happen to me! Of all people? I've been a good and faithful partner. I pray everyday. I don't even gossip or slander at others.. Why me.. WHY ME!!!
In the heat of the moment I released my frustration and in denial told the doctor off. Telling him that he's the cause of this. I hated him. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't have done this test and be told or confirmed as a HIV positive person!
How would you feel?! You tell me! Everyone has that stigma of people with AIDS and avoid them. More than that, how can I face my partner and my family? I'd be an outcast. I wouldn't be accepted.
And in a short while, i had suddenly realized, it was just once. I never had intercourse with anyone except that once years ago. OMGosh!!! How unlucky am i?
After about 10 minutes, the doctor explained to me about the treatments and how I could suppress this HIV problem. Saying that it would essentially not affect my life. I was rather relieved and also thought of other alternatives.
The doctor was encouraging and very supportive not bashing me down for asking if the Chinese medicine or even Ayurveda works. He also said i could bring in my loved ones and help explain to them with me there.
Although I was relieved and felt more at ease by the end of my session with the doctor, it doesn't change the fact that I was HIV positive. But I guess, what's done is done and I've got to look at my life more optimistically. So here I am telling the world, well.. not really telling but remember
it just takes ONCE before you get it
follow the ABC
- abstinence
- be faithful
- and if you can't, condomize!
Btw. HIV positive does not mean you are having AIDS.
this is an adaptation from a learning experience that I had. Myself having to break bad news to a patient. I'm not HIV positive k :)
To read more aabout HIV, click here.
